Moral Compass Examination for Couples

The following "Moral-Compass-Examination- for-Couples" is not the creation of "Catholic Psychology Blogspot", but is solely to be credited to Susan Vogt, MA, CFLE at the valuable Christian internet website "For Your Marriage" . I place Counselor Susan Vogt's statements and examination here to call complete attention to this much needed testing instrument. For access to the examination in PDF, click on "Do The Two Of You Have The Same Moral Compass?".

"Couples don't have to always agree on what color to paint the kitchen, but disagreeing on when to have a baby or whether both spouses should work outside the home are decisions of values and conscience. If it's a matter of morality, the rule of thumb is to not violate the stricter partner's conscience."

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Circle the number that best reflects how much you care about the following moral issues:

(The scale is from 1 to 5. Beginning with "Don't Care", "Some What", then number "5" is "Very Important".)

1. Attending religious services religiously, i.e. weekly. ( 1 2 3 4 5 )

2. Raising our children in a religious faith. ( 1 2 3 4 5 )

3. Have our children attend religious schools even if it's a financial hardship. ( 1 2 3 4 5 )

4. Having our children attend a religious education program if they don't go to a religious school. ( 1 2 3 4 5 )

5. Donating a portion of our income (ideally a tithe of 10%) to charity. ( 1 2 3 4 5 )

6. Planning our family in accordance with church teaching. ( 1 2 3 4 5 )

7. Having one parent at home while the children are young. ( 1 2 3 4 5 )

8. Paying our legitimate taxes even if others do not. ( 1 2 3 4 5 )

9. Caring for the environment by doing things like recycling, avoiding excessive packaging, minimizing car use, composting ... ( 1 2 3 4 5 )

10. Taking good care of my physical health through eating nutritious foods, exercising, notsmoking, and avoiding excessive alcohol or drugs. ( 1 2 3 4 5 )

11. Living simply, avoiding undo consumption and a luxurious lifestyle. ( 1 2 3 4 5 )

12. Live within our means. If our means are great, then our moral responsibility is to use our excess to help others. ( 1 2 3 4 5 )

13. Being responsive to my spouse's requests for sexual intimacy. ( 1 2 3 4 5 )

14. Being an active citizen, voting, working for political issues or candidates, doing volunteer comunity work, etc.. ( 1 2 3 4 5 )

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Bonus questions for discussion:

What social and religious causes are you most passionate about?

Politics is grounded in many moral assumptions. What political candidate did you support in the last election? Does your spouse share your politics?

SCORING:
Add up all your points. If your totals vary by:

Less than 15 points: Your moral compasses are very compatible. You may not always be right, but at least you share similar values. Consider if there are many moral issues that call you to become more generous or life-giving.

16 to 49 points: Time to discuss the issues you differ on by more than one number. Try to balance rationalizing away differences with being overly scrupulous.

Over 50 points: You're living on different planets. Talk with a priest or a pastoral counselor soon.

Abortion (Post Abortion Distress Symptoms)

Post Abortion Distress Symptoms
(Immediate and/or delayed symptoms may include):

* Anxiety/stress;
* Severe guilt;
* Regret;
* Sadness/sorrow;
* Feelings of loss and emptiness;
* Crying (sometimes for hours or days at a time);
* Depression;
* Inability to concentrate or work;
* Lowered self esteem/self-hatred;
* Desire for secrecy about abortion;
* Nightmares or flashbacks;
* Inability to sustain an intimate relationship;
* Anger or rage;
* Hatred towards anyone connected with the abortion;
* Emotional numbness;
* Severe emotional pain;
* Drug or alcohol abuse;
* Eating disorders;
* Sexual dysfunction (loss of pleasure, frigidity, and/or increased sexual activity);
* Desire to become pregnant again;
* Compulsions to touch or avoid babies;
* Repeat abortions; and
* Suicidal impulses.

(Women may experience some, all, or none of these symptoms. If these symptoms occur or persist, it is important to get help. )

[Taken from the internet site Abortion Concern . ]

How To Love Those We Live With!!!

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To All The Mothers...

This is for all the mothers who froze their buns off on metal bleachers at football games Friday night instead of watching from cars, so that when their kids asked, "Did you see me?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and mean it.
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This is for all the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's OK honey, Mommy's here."
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This is for all the mothers of Kosovo who fled in the night and can't find their children.
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This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and made them homes.
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For all the mothers of the victims of the Colorado shooting, and the mothers of the murderers. For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TV's in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.
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For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T.
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What makes a good Mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips? The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time? Or is it heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to School alone for the very first time? The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby?
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The need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a school shooting, a fire, a car accident, a baby dying?
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This is for all the mothers that sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the mothers who wanted to but just couldn't.
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This is for reading "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year. And then reading it again. "Just one more time."
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This is for all the mothers who mess up. Who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair and stomp their feet like a tired two-year old who wants ice cream before dinner.
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This is for all the mothers who taught their daughters to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.
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For all the mothers who bite their lips -- sometimes until they bleed -- when their 14-year-olds dye their hair green. Who lock themselves in the bathroom when babies keep crying and won't stop.
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This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse. This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.
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This is for all mothers whose heads turn automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home.
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This is for mothers who put pinwheels and teddy bears on their children's graves.
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This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach them.
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This is for all the mothers who sent their sons to school with stomachaches, assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse and hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away.
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This is for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation. And mature mothers learning to let go. For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers. Single mothers and married mothers. Mothers with money, mothers without. This is for you all. So hang in there.
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Please pass along to all the moms in your life. "Home" is what catches you when we fall - and we all fall. PLEASE PASS THIS TO A WONDERFUL MOTHER YOU KNOW.

Author Unknown
Since the writer wanted her message passed along --
We share it with you.
( http://www.butlerwebs.com/holidays/mothersday.htm )

Chastity Ring In British School (Rejected)

This is an update in the case of 16 year old "Lydia Playfoot" of England who has worn a small silver ring to school as a symbol of Christian purity. "The ‘Silver Ring Thing’ is a Christian education project aimed at helping teenage girls value themselves, make right choices about their futures, and reduce Britain's ever-increasing rise in sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancies amongst teenagers." (For the first post on this situation by "Catholic Psychology Blogspot", click on Silver Ring In High Court (Britain) .

Ms. Playfoot lost her case. Now she is considering if she should appeal. On Monday, July 16th, she said, "I am very disappointed by the decision this morning by the High Court not to allow me to wear my purity ring to school as an expression of my Christian faith not to have sex outside marriage.” ... “I believe that the judge’s decision will mean that slowly, over time, people such as school governors, employers, political organizations and others will be allowed to stop Christians from publicly expressing and practicing their faith.”

An article put out the next day by Reuters News Service stated: "Playfoot’s legal challenge was the latest in a series of disputes in British schools in recent years over the right of pupils to wear religious symbols or clothing, such as crucifixes and veils." ... "Playfoot’s parents are key members of the British arm of the American chastity campaign group the "Silver Ring Thing", a religious group which urges abstinence among young people. Those who sign up wear a ring on the third finger of the left hand. It is inscribed with “Thess. 4:3-4,” a reference to a Biblical passage from Thessalonians which reads: “God wants you to be holy, so you should keep clear of all sexual sin.”

"During the case, Playfoot’s lawyers argued that the ban by her school in Horsham, West Sussex, breached her human rights to 'freedom of thought, conscience and religion” which are protected by the European Convention on Human Rights.' "

It is interesting to me how during the interview recorded in the video above, the man and woman presenting the questions to Lydia and her father, would not dare pose a positively directed question or comment regarding teenagers who wish to remain chaste and save sex for marriage. The questioning was more like an "interogation", as if young Lydia Playfoot had some how "set fire to her school", or arrogantly "adorned herself in Nazi war clothing".
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Regarding an adult who wrote in saying she "had been a Christian for 50 years, and never had need to use a ring to represent her Christianity." I wonder if this woman was ever married. If she had ever been married, being married would have included the Christian ritual and tradition to use a "RING" to "SYMBOLIZE" sexual devotion to her HUSBAND!!! I assure you at the beginning of the Christian Church, most citizens of Rome had virtually no concern for remaining chaste and devoting the sexual act to their spouses alone!
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Hmmmmm, it's interesting how history appears to come around full circle. I believe if this interview had been with a young lady who had been promiscuous given birth to a child outside of wedlock, the interviewers would have raced to the young lady's aide with nothing negative to say or question her about.
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Let us keep young Ms. Lydia Playfoot in prayer for her courage to stand up for Chastity in what is, and always has been, true Christian belief and devotion.
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*How To Love A Woman*

"Complacency is an enemy, easy to recognize in others but difficult to admit in ourselves. It is rarely listed among the major human faults, yet it can hinder us in every form of personal growth. Complacency simply means being sure we're right, taking it for granted that our view couldn't possibly be wrong. It means judging others by what we think is right. It blocks out understanding and kindness, and justifies qualities in ourselves that we wouldn't find tolerable in other people. Smug complacency is often at the root of family dissension. ..."

"Let me not be quite so sure that my thinking is always correct. Let me begin by being a little critical of my iron resolution to have things my way. I will keep my ears and my mind open to the ideas of others, even when they don't square with mine. Then I'll be opening the door to growth. ..."

"My serenity does not depend on my winning every round in my battle with life. It does depend on my acceptance of others on their own terms. God grant me that serenity." ("One Day At A Time In Al-Anon", page 197)

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself." (Ephesians 5:25-27)

*Commercializing Of Women*

"There is a way that seems right to a man, but the end there of is the way of death." (Proverbs 16:25)

We are all greatly affected by the way we view women in our homes, our lives and society.

1. Women, used as objects to sale products, if not to sale themselves.

2. Women, made to appear as something they are not.

3. To fulfill fantasies in men. Fantasies women cannot live up to.

4. Women, left wondering what is beauty, not seeing their own beauty.

5. Women, unable to leave their homes for fear of how they look without make-up.

6. Women, when being loved, hate their lovers, for they know they are not being loved for what they truly are, but for what they pretend to be.

7. Women, living in society of fundamental dishonesty, inspired to place fantasy above what is true and real.

8. A society where men are no longer respected, and women are no longer cherished.

9. A society where teenaged girls call boys on their cell phones, and "going-on-a-date" means something different than it once did.

10. A socity where women are promised love, but are used instead, then left to swim in loneliness, despair and resentment.

12. A society where men hate themselves, having no examples to follow for knowing how to be men for their wives and children. Grasping for anything to fill the void of their own shame and guilt.

*Healing Grief Before The Eucharistic Host*

(Anyone who reads the following story from a friend of mine will be deeply touched. Please give it your time.)

I just want to relate an experience I had through using the Sacrament of Confession and praying to Jesus through the exposed Host, the Blessed Sacrament.

For 13 years I suffered heartbreaking guilt and turmoil over the death of my infant son, whom I will call "John". My son was four months old at the time of his death. He had died from a head injury caused by a car accident where he was with his father at the time, alone.

I was washing diapers and couldn’t stop to hold John, who was crying to be held. I had 23 diapers and needed to wash them every day. It took some time since we had one of those old wringer washing machines. His father, whom I will call "Thomas", said he would take him for a ride to calm him down. That was the reason I was not there when the accident occurred, and can’t say what truly happened.

Thomas said he hit a bump on the road, and that John fell to the car floor and must have hit his head. (This was before infant car seats were developed.) The car was fine and so was his father. John was the only one with a head injury. This, I thought was suspicious. I quickly developed a hatred for Thomas, thinking that he must have done something to our son. My suspicion was based on the fact that Thomas never wanted to have children and never enjoyed John.

I lived with a sorrow that ached to the core of my being, to my soul. I felt I didn’t deserve to live. Somehow I kept an outward face of a fairly normal person, at least in my view. Every now and then, through these years, I would wake in the night and weep copiously with the heartache of a grieving mother, and one who felt tremendous guilt, who really just wanted to die.

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Within four months after John’s death, the relationship deteriorated into drunkenness and abuse. I shall say that I escaped from Thomas because he had threatened to kill me. A number of years later I found out that Thomas had died of a drug overdose and exposure.

I eventually returned to the Catholic Faith and the Sacraments. I had been away for 20 years.

A few years after my return to the Church, I attended a retreat that was directed by a Jesuit priest who was also a psychiatrist. During the retreat, which was a silent one, he led us in a probing history of our pasts which allowed me to really scrutinize my part in this hurtful situation in which I was holding resentments against myself and my baby son’s father.

I discovered that, in the beginning of our relationship, I did not have any respect or concern for his feelings. He told me he didn’t want to have children, and I thought that somehow things would work out even if I did get pregnant. I thought he would rise to the occasion and be a good father anyway. I did not consider that he could really be serious about not wanting children. So my fault was in not respecting his wishes. I never believed in using birth control so I should have ended the relationship then and there, but I didn’t. I confessed this sin because in the end it did cause him hurt and emotional turmoil, the extent of which I am unaware.

During the four months of our son’s life he did not prove to be a loving father and this was evidenced to me by various things he would say, as well as just a general annoyed attitude he kept towards our son.

I owed it to my son to leave his father, for I did fear for my son’s safety. However, I didn’t have a faith that was strong enough to leave, while at the same time I had been convinced by Thomas telling me that no one would help me. I thought he was right. It really did seem that there was no one. We were isolated, living in the country and I had lost touch with friends and family because they didn’t approve of our relationship.

The priest I went to for Confession during the retreat was a Jesuit too (though as far as I am aware, he was not a psychiatrist or a psychologist). During the confession I told him the above. I told him that by my not ending the relationship, I hurt a lot of people. Specifically, myself, my family, and most of all, my son and his father.

The priest told me to go sit in front of the Blessed Sacrament (they were having adoration in the afternoon) and to ask Jesus to allow my son to hear my apology and for Thomas to hear my apology. He also absolved me from my sins which, anyone who gets absolution in the Sacrament of Confession, will experience as a sort of lightness of being.

That afternoon I went to the Blessed Sacrament that was exposed, and prayed that God would allow my son to hear my apology. I then made my apology. I looked at the Host in the monstrance and saw the outline of a mother holding a baby. I seemed to know it was Mary, the Mother of Jesus, holding my son. I closed my eyes and saw very clearly my son’s face bathed in a warm bright light. He had the greatest smile on his face, and I knew now he knows no sorrow, only continual joy. I knew my little baby boy had forgiven me.

I then asked God to allow Thomas to hear my sorrowful apology for not considering his feelings and wants. ...... I made my apology, understanding that he was listening since Jesus was allowing this. For just a second my mind wandered to the thought, ........... "I wonder if Thomas did something to hurt our son and if he will end up in Hell". Immediately I heard a man’s voice around my right ear whom I am sure was the voice of Jesus. He said, "That’s between me and him." ... I became so aware of my judging Thomas and that I had overstepped my boundaries there. I thought of what a frightening thing that can be, to make God’s business of justice my own.

I left the spiritual exercise feeling deep gratitude and joy for Christ truly present in the Eucharistic Host. Also, I felt deep appreciation for the priests He uses to guide us and direct us on our souls’ journeys.
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"In many ways, Our Lord, is calling us to worship and receive Him in the Eucharist. He speaks this desire in many ways: through the Pope and the Magisterium of the Church, in the Bible (John chapter 6), through his Blessed Mother in approved Marian apparitions, through the testimonies of Saints and Martyrs, through Eucharistic miracles, through Church approved messages given by Jesus by Divine Revelation, through our souls who long for Jesus in Communion, and through our suffering world which is in much need of prayer before the Blessed Sacrament. Unfortunately many of us disbelieve or have grown indifferent towards Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament." .......... (From THE REAL PRESENCE )

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Paragraph 174 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church states:

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"The mode of Christ's presence under the Eucharistic species is unique. It raises the Eucharist above all the sacraments as "the perfection of the spiritual life and the end to which all sacraments tend." In the most blessed sacrament of the Eucharist "the body and blood, together with the soul and divinity, of our Lord Jesus Christ and, therefore, the whole Christ is truly, really, and substantially contained." "This presence is called 'real' - by which is not intended to exclude the other types of presence as if they could not be 'real' too, but because it is presence in the fullest sense: that is to say, it is a substantial presence by which Christ, God and man, makes himself wholly and entirely present."

New Pill For Sale To Stop Monthly Menstruation

A birth control pill designed to eliminate a woman's monthly period will be available for purchase over the counter in July. The contraceptive, Lybrel, created by the pharmaceutical company Wyeth, is a low-dose birth control pill that if taken daily, can prevent pregnancy and suppress menstuation. Lybrel was approved last week by the United States Federal Food and Drug Administration. It's use is meant for women whose cycles are painful, unpleasant, or for those who just don't want to experience monthly bleeding. "It's yet another option for women," said Six Rivers Planned Parenthood CEO Tina Mackenzie. "Women are, unfortunately, the ones responsible for the birth control methods," said Dr. Kim Ervin, an obstetrician/gynecologist at North Coast Women's Health in Eureka, California. "The more choices we have, the more options, the better women can choose and have control over their lives."

This news came out yesterday in some newspapers. If the article was found at all, it was short comment tucked back on less important pages. The matter was hardly in other media outlets.

Yawn ..., Oh well, not a big deal. Just another "major-step-in-the-direction-of-tampering-with-the-God-created-natural-body-made-in-His-sacred-image-who's-developement-and-functioning-processes-are-that-of-the-increasingly-less-significantly-recognized-being-we-call-"Woman".

The first mistake was made in the year 1930. Before then, Catholics, Orthodox, and Protestants stood together in unified condemnation of any attempt to sterilize the marital act with the use of contraceptives. It was first the Anglican Church that broke with more than 1,900 years of uninterrupted Christian teaching. In time, other churches and denominations followed. In 1968, however, Pope Paul VI shocked the world when he reaffirmed the traditional teaching against contraception in his encyclical letter "Humanae Vitae (Of Human Life)". Today, as Christians, almost entirely the Roman Catholic Church stands alone, or certainly the leader, to hold true to this issue of sanctity of woman and marriage before God.

Christopher West writes, "Modern men and women have lost sight of the greatness, dignity, and divine purpose of human life (Humanae Vitae). When that happens, we no longer see the sexual union as a "great mystery" proclaiming God's love for humanity and foreshadowing heaven. We quickly reduce sex to a biological process subject to all sorts of human manipulations. Today, because of this mind-set, most men and women give no more thought to tinkering with their fertility than they do to tinkering with their hair color."

As a final note in this post, recognize that no contraceptive on the market claims 100% success rate. Instead, contraceptives are designed to merely "fool a woman's body" into "believing it is continually pregnant." Allegedly, this is so that sperm does not make it to the egg inside the woman. However, read the small print on the packages at your nearest drug store. Pharmaceuticals never claim that this process occurs a hundred percent of the time. Actually, they state emphatically that the contraceptive process is not always completed. Thus, sometimes sperm and egg "do" unite, conceiving human life. Only after we've "lied" to the woman's body simulating false pregnancy, do we also "lie" to ourselves pretending there are not occasions when human life is conceived inside the child's mother, then is flushed out (but not immediately) through the mother's menstrual system at the time of her monthly cycle. ......... Now, in a matter of weeks, the pill "Lybrel" will be purchased to remove from women the natural experience of menstruation. ... I am not a woman, I'm a man, but I still I cannot help but feel greatly saddened that there is likely something very wrong about this.

Consider the following quotes:

The person who is truly chaste is able to direct erotic desire "towards the true, good, and beautiful - so that what is 'erotic' also becomes true, good, and beautiful" (Nov. 12, 1980) Contracepted intercourse not only attacks the procreative meaning of sex, it "ceases also to be an act of love" (Aug. 22, 1984) Hence, the asceticism required by chastity doesn't impoverish or impede a couple's expressions of love and affection. Rather, it "makes them spiritually more intense and therefore enriches them." (Oct. 24, 1984) [Pope John Paul II]

"Chastity includes an apprenticeship in self-mastery which is a training in human freedom. The alternative is clear: either man governs his passions and finds peace, or he lets himself be dominated by them and becomes unhappy." [Catechism Of The Catholic Church, #2339]

(If you wish to comment, ask questions, offer opinions, submit additions or challenge with criticism, please feel free to write to: http://www.catholicpsychology@hotmail.com/ . )

What Has Been Forgotten About Women

There is something forgotten about women. The thing forgotten about women, by not remembering, renders all chaos as ripples atop a country pond. ... No, I think as tsunamis upon all oceans. ... Societal suicide.

What we've forgotten about women, every woman, is anatomy, physiology, bodies formed and carried sacred, precious. Where inside beautiful sculptured bone, flesh, reside precise location, somewhere, a holy sanctuary, a divine tabernacle, where silently the miraculous hand of God reaches down from heaven, on cue, forming tenderly, delicately, bodies and breathing lives of our sons and daughters. Positioned. God. His Holy Spirit. Not for one moment, but for nine months. No, a lifetime, creating.
From here, somewhere in woman they spawn, our children, ourselves.. Mirrors of God's unique image. The angels marvel. Now and for eternity.

Before the burning bush, Moses removed his sandals by command of deity. While there in fire God spoke gently.

Yet, increasingly it seems, we, descendants of Adam, gravitate a million ways, for a million reasons, to this holy place among us. That is, to women, - to ravage, to rape, to use, abuse, forget, roll over to sleep, ... women, to market, to cheapen.

But what is holy in men, except that we approach with kindness, appreciation, reverence, that which is holy in women, then guard carefully, and teach others the same ... ?

God said it is not good for man to live alone, so He made for man a helpmeet. What God makes, He makes perfect. What God says is so, is so always. If women have failing; if wives, mothers, daughters, sisters and grandmothers have sin; the sin seems always the act of succumbing to the instinct to give men and boys exactly what they ask for. When to give them what they ask for, turns those men and boys into selfish beasts. Or if not beasts, then something of the same in lessor measure.

Hereby we set women up to forget the holiness inside them. When they do, humanity loses.

PORNOGRAPHY

In the 1970's, a federal study valued all hard-core pornography at ten million dollars. Today, the most common estimate of annual revenues are at ten "billion" dollars, or equivalent to the 2005 gross domestic product of Ghana. "You could say the culture of pornography has leaked into our lives, but it's more like a flood." said Julie Hanus in her article "The XXX Factor" (UTNE magazine, 2006) "Even as we attempt to delineate our relationships to modern pornography, the line between what is and is not pornographic is eroding, making the task daunting." ... "You could say the culture of pornography has leaked into our lives, but it's more like a flood."

What is frightening, is the availability of internet porn. At the 2003 meeting of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, some two-thirds attending said the internet played a significant role in divorces that year, pointing a finger at online pornography. Yet, "seven or eight years ago pornography had an almost nonexistent role in divorce.", reports author journalist Pamela Paul in "Time" magazine (January 19, 2004).

And what about our children? In 2001, a study by the Kaiser Family Foundation, an independent national health organization, found that 70 percent of 15 to17 year olds admitted to stumbling upon pornography online, and 23 percent of them said it happens often.

But then there's the tragedy, continued trauma to both the one watched and the one watching. "Harm is being done to all our fragile sexual selves, which may be incapable of withstanding the relentless assaults of a multi-billion-dollar industry whose principle effect is to make a mess of our relationships." ("Damage On Parade" by Charles Foran, UTNE magazine, 2006)

Martin Amis calls it "the obscenification of every day life". Ariel Levy, author of the book "Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture" (Free Press, 2005), says this "Raunch Culture" may be hardest on adolescent girls. Blitzed with images of how to be "hot, young women, already prone to insecurities, have a difficult time distinguishing the fake from the real."

Pamela Paul, when interviewing American men and boys, learned how "obsessive porn surfing wreaks havoc on their conceptions of women and sexuality. "They become impatient with their real-life partners and numb to the pleasures of conventional sex. Pornography leaves men desensitized both to outrage and to excitement, leading to dissatisfaction with the emotional tugs of their own lives."

And again, there "is" great harm to those who are "pornified". In a study by Ms. Paul conducted in 1998, it was determined that "two-thirds of prostitutes suffer from symptoms identical to those of posttraumatic stress disorder - twice the percentage that was found among American soldiers returning from the war in Vietnam." She goes on, "There is something twisted about using a predominantly sexually traumatized group of people as our erotic role models. It's like using a bunch of shark attack victims as our lifeguards." ... "... people getting off on the acts of those who are themselves traumatized and are being traumatized by what they are doing." ... " ... Pornography may be stalking one emotion more than any other. That would be the shared feelings we have for fellow humans, along with the inclination to recognize kindred suffering, and even lend aid. ... ."

Pornography might well become the death of empathy ....