No person ever just sets out in life to be "bad". A robber never robs, a killer never kills, a man or woman never insults or lies, entirely for the purpose to be "mean".Think about it. In all of history, no human has ever harmed another human consciously, in any way, merely for the sake of inflicting pain. No, in every experience of destruction, conflict, death and heartache, there has always been a "cause" fabricated in the mind of the wrongdoer to render havoc on every level.
I mean literally, there is always a "cause".
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Hitler convinced an army that murdering millions and millions of innocent men, women and children, was well founded for the sake of creating a dominant "Arian Race", and his misdirected rant that the "Jews killed Jesus". Then he influenced an entire nation to take on the world, by placing Polish uniforms on German soldiers, faking an attack by Poland on Germany, thus provoking the events of World War II.
We can go on and on without end. Throughout the annals of human history. ... Cain had his cause for murdering Abel, then roamed the earth with a mark of a wrong doer. Moses had his cause for throwing down and destroying the stone tablets, and was denied for himself entrance into the long awaited Promised Land. The Pharisees had their reason for demanding the crucifixion of Christ. Yet at the moment of the crucifixion of our Lord, the earth quaked, the Temple curtain was rent from top to bottom. God wept, the angels marveled, souls were were received into heaven, and these bellowing Pharisees will forever be referred to as hypocrites, whitewashed tombs, a brood of vipers making proselytes twice as greater children of hell as themselves. (Matthew 23)
*** (Here is a photo of my son, Justin, who I love so much!!!!!)
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Yet, my point in this post is this. The reason your relationships with people are sometimes difficult and confusing, is because at times when you give thoughtful consideration to do what is right, "right" will be distorted by someone to appear "wrong", then with further manipulation by that someone, "wrong" will be made to appear "right".
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Basically, we contrive a false premise to do the wrong we do, so that while doing that wrong we can feel, even with enthusiasm, that we are right. ... Right to hate, right to judge, right to lie, right to speak badly of our parents, our neighbors, our boss, our husband, our wife ... even feeling right to kill, - when the killing is not for the sake of the helpless, but for the sake of our own selfish purposes and desires.
There is a word for this. It is the word "Scandal" (or the act of being "scandalous"). A psychology of devious manipulation. Creating conspiracy where no conspiracy exists, that silently but remarkably has serious repercussions on our homes, families and churches in the most personal of intimate relationships.
In very specific ways a husband can be scandalous to his wife, a wife can be scandalous to her husband, parents can be scandalous to their children, and children can be scandalous to their parents.
For now, let us consider the words of the Catechism of the Catholic Church:
(2284) "Scandal is an attitude or behavior which leads another to do evil. The person who gives scandal becomes his neighbor's tempter. He damages virtue and integrity; he may even draw his brother into spiritual death. Scandal is a grave offense if by deed or omission another is deliberately led into a grave offense."
(2285) "Scandal takes on a particular gravity by reason of the authority of those who cause it or the weakness of those who are scandalized. It prompted our Lord to utter this curse: 'Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened round his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.' (Matthew 18:6) ..."
(2287) "Anyone who uses the power at his disposal in such a way that it leads others to do wrong becomes guilty of scandal and responsible for the evil that he has directly or indirectly encouraged. "Temptations to sin are sure to come; but woe to him by whom they come!" (Luke 17:1)
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