Vital Oneness In Marriage

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A fellow Catholic blogger, Shannon, wrote:

Jim,

Thank you, and I did read your response this morning. Actually, I read it a few times as I enjoyed what you said tremendously. You have a gift of communicating ideas in a simple, understandable way. I loved how you touched on men being tempted by women when all their needs are met within their marriage. I'd love to read more about that and about the impact of pornography on the psyche and on marriages. Your blog is fabulous; I have it in my 'Live Bookmarks' so I know instantly of any updates :) Keep up the Good work and God bless :)

My response:

Thank-you Shannon.

Yes, I would like to address in our posts the impact of pornography on the psyche of both males and females, as well as the affects of this increasing phenomenon on marriage from a truly Catholic Psychological perspective. To do this, we will continue to build a basis and framework for our discussion. (Please know that your responses of encouragement, questions, even challenges, are so appreciated.)

In our current high-pace, high-tech society, its easy to lose touch with what's important in life. One thing that's vital in our lives, is the priority of our marital relationships as we mentioned earlier. Through the Sacrament of marriage, God made you and your spouse "ONE". This means when the two of you as a married couple are separate in any of a host of ways, you and your spouse are each "less" of a person than you are when you are together, and in that togetherness, sharing in the experience as "one".

Much of the world fails to realize this. Much of the world doubts there is a loving, Christian God. Much of the world doubts the proper place of parents in the raising of children, doubts the proper place of families in general. Much of the world doubts the power of the Church to administer in things that are spiritual. Thus, inevitably, the world as we know it, will doubt, even resist, the concept of the spirit filled Sacrament, the holy psychology as it were, of a God directed Catholic man, and God directed Catholic woman, consummating their sacred marriage in a holy moment in sacred privacy, to no longer be "two", but be recognized in heaven to forever, while on earth, be "one".

Psychologically, it makes no sense. No current research or theoretical model explains it. I mean how precisely as the "Trinity" is ONE in the Godhead, the "Father, Son and Holy Spirit", so is a man and woman "One" in a trinity as "God, husband and wife"!

Its the reason we marry in a Church, and not on a "beach", or "parachuting out of planes".

You see, its not about "us". It's about "God". "He" did it. It's done. Finished. There's nothing to add nor take away. All there is now, is merely time to pass for the husband and wife to spend a lifetime "actualizing", "briinging into visuability" and "applying" what is already established, declared and completed in heaven.

Why is this important? ... "Because, when following the administrations Christ directs through His Church on earth, everything is made more simple!" ...

You see, What you THINK about yourself as a wife is "not" what's important. What you THINK of your husband as a man has little relevance. What you THINK of your wife as a woman carries little weight on earth and heaven. What you THINK about yourself as a husband in your marriage, accomplishes virtually nothing

It's what you "do"! It's what you "do" with what's been "given" you. But first you must be clear about what that is.

You know what I mean. Although marriage has "SO MUCH" wonderfulness, there are occasions when each wife wishes she had been a nun! And there are moments when a husband looks to the skies and laments that he had not chosen a life of priesthood, or chosen to have been a monk on some secluded mountain in the Himalayas!

But don't let that surprise you. Don't be shocked. It happens to "all" of us. We're each currently still in our flesh, and we're "human".

What matters first is not what you think or even what you feel, No, what you "think" and "feel" can change rapidly from one instant to another. What matters, and I mean "truly" matters first are two things. First, that in each moment "God is on His throne", and second, that you and your spouse are ONE in your God who is continually on His throne.

As Catholics, this is the first immovable, sure object we have to count on through the storms that do come through life.

I mean, like when your wife or husband turns over in bed at night in a state of anger, refusing to speak to you. You ask, "What's the matter, honey ... Did I do something wrong???" There is no answer, then you are lost for the rest of the night in thought, and maybe tears!

What do you do, then, as a man or woman? How does a Christian husband or wife respond, without first "falling-apart" and feeling ill-equipped to do anything at all!

It begins by recognizing with every molecule of your being, that we, as devout loyal practicing Christian Catholics, have something that most in the world do not have. You, wife, ... you, husband, ... are "full" and "complete", not based on what you "feel", "think", or "judge in yourself at a given moment", but instead of what the Holy Sacrament of marriage administered by the Church established you as being at every moment of the day or night, at times that are good and times that are bad. From that position, and from that position of alone, are we ready to proceed to discuss what a wife or husband can do about lies launched upon you by Satan. Things that surround you and your spouse, slyfully wishing to penetrate and destroy your marriage. Things like doubt, fear, gossip, injustice, cruelty, judgmentalism, coalitions of hatred, and pornography.

For now, in this post until the next one, remember that you and your husband or wife are "ONE". Everything the two of you ever could possibly need, are found in each other by the grace, mercy and power of God. For now, at some moment when your loved one least expects it, run and "tackle" him or her. Throw yourselves on the couch, the bed, whatever. As your wife or husband is shocked, no matter what surrounds the two of you in the confusing circumstances of life, say with a huge smile on your face, "Honey, I love you "sssssssoooooooo"much and share in a big, big, big, big wonderful kiss! ... With that, you will be fulfilling your holy vocation in life, and God "will" bless you!

(Remember, we have more we will be discussing soon, ...)

But from the beginning of the creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.