‘Matrimony is a sacrament to save others - above all, this means, to save the other, the spouse, husband or wife, but also the children and ultimately, the community. Even we priests are able to mature in our encounters with our married parishioners.’
One thing I’ve learned from involvement with Worldwide Marriage Encounter is that the basic vocation of a married couple is to be spouses. Being parents is a consequence of this. Pope Benedict quietly emphasizes this in the quote above. And the Church honors St Joseph on March 19 as the ‘Husband of Mary.’ This is his primary vocation. I normally add and ‘St Joseph, the Husband of Mary’ in Eucharistic Prayers II and III, as in the Roman Canon. In my native Ireland the words ‘spouse,’ ‘husband’ and wife’ have almost become dirty words. ‘Partner’ is the preferred term and, much more worryingly, the preferred choice, if that word can be applied to a refusal to make a public commitment.
Whenever I get the chance, I emphasize to married couples and to those preparing for marriage that they must never let anyone else become more important than their spouse – not their parents and not their children. That needs to be emphasized here in the Philippines where married people have difficulty letting go of their parents, and vice versa, and where for many women – I’ve checked this out with friends – being a mother is more important than being a wife. This isn’t God’s will. I sometimes wonder if we should put more emphasis on the spousal relationship than on family. If the relationship between husband and wife is sound, the rest will follow.
As a priest too I have found healthy relationships with couples and families very helpful to me as I try t live the priesthood. And it works the other way too. This point came up during our recent diocesan synod.
( Written by Father Sean Coyle. Posted by Gerald Augustinus on www.closedcafetiria.blogspot.com )
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