Parenting Moment By Moment

Do you ever feel you're not a good parent? ... Do you find yourself looking at your child sometimes, and wonder where have you gone wrong? Do you sometimes conclude in your thinking that your kid's misbehavior and sometimes defiance is your fault? "Maybe I've been too hard on him," you reason with yourself. Or, "Possibly I've not been hard enough!"

The point in this reading today is, "Begin where you are in this moment, regardless of what has happened before. God has not only given you your child to parent, but He also gives you what you need, moment-by-moment, so that you "can" parent your child.

Without forgiveness as a cool soothing cream to apply gently on ourselves, there is no way we can parent our children effectively in the manner we must.

Did a while ago anger, doubt, fear or impatience surge from your lips in the heat of a moment? Then welcome the next moment. It is new. The one you are in now. View it as an opportunity to be what you can be then. Take into yourself the love, patience and forgiveness God gives you from Himself. Remember, He is a Parent too. Knowing this, you can pass this love, patience and forgiveness to your son or daughter afresh and anew.

Forgive yourself. You "are" a good enough parent. Don't let unnecessary guilt take your strength away.

Written by Jim Hogue, MA, MFTI
Supervisor: Peter Mosgofian, MA, MFC

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Has your parent broken the "law" in any way? I mean specifically in relationship with you. Has your mom or dad "abused" you, as it were, in a way that is legislatively declared "illegal"? ... OK. If not, then you have the responsibility as their kid to be "respectful" and "kind" to them. It is necessary that you speak and act toward your father and mother in ways that do not bring stress upon them.

You see, it's your parents duty to provide a place for you to live. You are to have food and clothing. Beyond this, the rest is just "icing on the cake", so to speak.

My point is this, "Being a parent is difficult." If that was all your parents had to do was "parent you", then "parenting you" would not be so difficult!

But you see, you are "not" the only thing going on in your parents' lives. Your mom and dad have jobs to do, bills to pay, a house to clean, and grocery carts to push at the store to keep you fed. I mean there's like a "thousand" other details they have to care of beyond just thinking of you!

A good idea would be for you to sometime "thank your parents for how they are so nice to you." (They don't have to be so nice, and you know it!)

I know telling your parents you appreciate them asking a lot. (Or so you might think.) But actually, doing this is not as "difficult" as you might think. Yet, if it "is" that difficult for you, then "write something nice on a piece of paper and act like you accidently dropped the paper at their feet while passing by them! If you have to, run out of the building rapidly after doing so. Do "anything" it takes to get a the least bit of thankfulness across to them!!!

Remember, you might be a parent yourself someday. If this happens, may God help you, because you will need it!!!

Written by Jim Hogue, MA, MFTI
Supervisor: Peter Mosgofian, MA, MFC