** Why Some People Dislike You The Same Way Always #3 **

[Consider reading first "PART 1" and "PART 2". .....
..... Now we have "PART 3" in the series.]
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(***) As a matter of illustration, notice how when a wooden ship is being built, there is careful attention to place a wooden beam through the base and center of the ship's construction. From the position of this wooden beam, all other parts are attached and built one upon another. Eventually, the vessel is completed, then placed on the ocean to float for the purpose of carrying valuable cargo and passengers.
(***) Imagine if the beam of wood, upon which all other smaller parts are attached, was instead a "bamboo shoot!" What do you imagine would happen to the ship once it is placed on ocean swirls and set stressfully in rocking motion?
(***) Yes, you're right, the ship would fall apart, then embarassingly sink in pieces to the depth of the sea! Without a reliable, sturdy object upon which to build the ship, nothing would last, and destruction would soon be the result! The same is true in human relationships, and this serves as another explanation as to why "Some People Dislike You The Same Way Always!"
(***) Remember in Part 1 and Part 2 of "Why Some People Dislike You The Same Way Always". We discussed how he who angrily criticizes with words, is guilty of the offense of which he criticizes. We saw also, that not only is the angry accuser guilty of the thing that he criticizes, but he is also "most" guilty of that offense, while the one accussed is "most innocent" of the accusation. Case after case, and situation after situation, I find this consistently to be true. Yes, we briefly consider how it is so true what Christ our Lord said at the start of the seventh chapter of the book of Matthew.
(***) However, this brings to another step of grasping further the words of the greatest psychologist that has ever lived, the Creator Himself, Jesus Christ. That is, "Why some people who dislike you, seem always to dislike you the 'SAME WAY'!"
(***) Well, it is like the ship. You know, with the "strong beam of wood" built through its center! People who criticize you judgmentally and angrily for the same thing over and over (and over, and over, and over), do so "not because you are 'WEAK' in the thing for which they criticize you, but precisely because you are 'STRONG' in the thing for which they criticize you!!!
(***) OK, I'll give you time to recover. (Get up off the floor if you fell down.) I know it must be difficult to imagine. The fact that its "shocking" and sounds "ludicrous" and all. Still, what I've said is true. Completely, an amazing amount of the time!
(***) Reveiw again, some things for which people have criticizec you rudely and uncaringly in one or two specific ways. In principle, one or two specific messages have followed you all of your life. Literally, you can choose from the following list (For someone else, the choice might be different):
1. You are irresponsible. ("I always have to tell you what to do!")
2. You will never amount to much. ("You will always be less of a person than you should be!")
3. You care only about yourself. ("You are selfish, and do not love anyone but yourself!")
4. You never listen. ("I could talk until I am "blue in the face, and you will sit there and not listen!")
5. You are stupid. You know nothing. ("Everyone else is more intelligent than you are!")
6. Nothing good comes out of your mouth. ("Everything you say is not worth hearing!")
7. You are ugly. ("Nothing about you is attractive!" ... "People are repulsed by you!")
(***) I wish to tell you that when it dawns on you that one or two of these negative messages, negative scripts, has followed you through the course of your entire life, it is in that precise negative criticism where is found your greatest strength. Yes, precisely on that specific subject exists the healthy, strong, core of your personality given to you by God.
(***) You see, the instant you feel within you the sting of pain or anger because of what someone else said against you to hurt you, you are at that moment the "beam of wood at the center of the ship". Stress in a home, business, church, family moves and targets itself at "someone to blame!" You believe the falsehood of the blame. The reason the rude criticism hurts you is because it is not true. In fact, it is the "opposite" that is true. And you've heard the same wrong message for so long all your life that, in your anger you've believed it and doubt the gifts God gave you.
(***) You might ask, "But why do some people always say this bad thing against me?" ... My answer, because what those people say bad about you says more about "them" than it does about "you". Also, your believing what they are saying is true continues to make it convenient for those people to continue to criticize you in the same way, again and again, day after day. You become those peoples' "drug", so to speak, to maintain the denial of truth they do not wish to see in themselves.
(***) In other words, while feeling ashamed and less than others, you, my friend, are the "strong beam of wood that holds the ship together!
(***) To conclude this post, let me give only one illustration to explain what I mean. Let's take the classic example of a mother standing over her son screaming at him. The young man is sitting in a chair and the mother is standing over him. She yells, "You never listen to me!" ... "I could talk to you until I'm blue in the face, and it will make no difference!" ... "You will be the death of me!" ... "It matters not what I say, with you it only 'goes-in-one-ear-and-comes-out-the-other!"
(***) I ask you, in this situation, who is not listening? Actually, it is the "mother" who is not listening. This mother at this moment is grossly at fault for not listening herself, for she cannot listen if she is constantly screaming. And as for the young man, I assure you he has the "gift" of listening. For one reason because the mother is angrily criticisizing him for not listening, in order to hide the fact that it is "she" who is not listening.
******* (Please look for the next post in this series on this important topic "WHY-SOME-PEOPLE-DISLIKE-YOU-THE-SAME-WAY-ALWAYS") *******